Memoirs of a Punk

Yep, that would be me, or should I say was me. At times I do actually appreciate that I am not the person I once was. Halloween is one of those times (sort of). That sick, twisted part of me still grins at the thought of my youthful antics but the responsible adult in me cringes as she wonders why I am 1) not dead and 2) not in jail.
As the trick or treaters ring the bell, I am reminded of my meanager days. Yes, along with my "so called" friends, I too rang bells on Halloween. The difference is I usually ran as soon as I did, often leaving a not so pleasant remnant of my visit. These remnants varied house to house and year to year but had the potential to include explosives, excrements and toilet paper among other things.

What was I thinking? well, chances are, I wasn't. I was 14, 16, 17 and stupid.

Now, you may think that a horrible prank and it was. I only wish it was my worst.
Before I go incriminating myself beyond belief, there was plenty of innocent fun to be had as well. Clancy the ghost is definitely a favorite memory. It's amazing what grocery ad dispay soap bottle, a sheet, some chains and fish wire can accomplish. Every kid in the neighborhood became enthralled with Clancy. He was our mascot.
Oh, and there were hours and hours or trick or treating with the biggest pillowcases we couldn't carry. Soemtimes 2, 3 or more hauls in a night. Some years were highlighted by parties with peeled grapes (eyeballs) and oily spaghetti (veins) and a cauldron of dry ice. Cupcakes and brownies amongst the sugar overload finished with a kick-the-can game the size of Chicago or a mass viewing of The Holy Grail. Afterall, it's not really Halloween until someone chants, "bring out yer dead!"

Now back to the good stuff. I will preface with a slight disclaimer. I was never the mastermind and never the instigator but fear not, I was a willing and able sicko just the same. Lastly, if you happen to be my offspring reading this, don't. Don't continue reading and by all means DO NOT do such things. Be a better person. Know right from wrong, show restraint and think things through. For you too may someday sit down to write a memoir and want something positive to reference.

And so it is. My most vivid of Halloween remembrances. The dead man hanging. He was great. A true collaboration. A youthful prank with no limits. Vivid, life-like and memorable.
Ingredients:
1 rubber mask
1 set of clothes
1 sutrdy knife
1 bottle ketchup
lots of sturdy fishline
add:

1 dark, tree lined suburban street
a few semi alert drivers
good tennis shoes (for running)

a recipe for hysterical laughter and traumatic stress. You see, we built the dummy, stabbed and bloodied the dummy and strung the dummy from trees to hang in the middle of the street, just above eye level, dead center. Fish line is NOT visible after dark but a dangling, bloodied body (fake) sure is. It would be fair to say we can all probably sprint at olympic speed still today at the drop of a stopped car. The driver I remember the most was the pair of police officers that stopped, approached, and then laughed hysterically. Of course, they ended our fun, but they admitted it was clever, scary and funny, but dangerous as hell.

so, that was the end of Guts McGee, or so we thought.

Surprise, No Surprise

It's been one of those weeks. Hmmm, do I start all my posts that way? It seems like it, that's for sure. Maybe because so many things in my life are just the same old, same old. Grouching at school about kid issues, meetings, running non stop and what seems like always behind. That never used to be. There really was a time when I was the Queen of preparedness. The gifts bought, the table set, the prep work done, early and well read for meetings. I'm not sure what happened but somehow I became lax. I don't think I like the new, not so concerned me. I am always rushing and hurrying to get it all done. Always forgetting something or going without. Nope, I like the old me. If you see her, please send her back. Plead my case. Tell her I'll be nicer and more thoughtful of her. I'll show her the appreciation she deserves. You can even bribe her for me. I am not against buying her gifts.

Well, aside from the usual, we had debates to watch. Yep, more of the same, just like my life. Unkept promises, unrealistic goals and fingerpointing. I don't like it surrounding me I sure as hell don't like it leading the country I reside within. Now, finances I'm glad to say is not the same old nor is it a surprise. Who didn't see this coming. OMG! We have been hearing this crap for years. Anyone who so "joe" buying that McMansion on a janitor's salary should have seen this coming. Heeeeellllllloooooo?! Not to mention those in charge, those leading the way, those responsible for preventing such a fiasco. I know they may bank offshore but I was not aware that they had to stick their heads under the sand to make a deposit. Someone should warnt hem about the concrete floors in prisons.

Not enough no surprise for ya yet? How about those Cubbies. You would think after 100 years people would stop getting their hopes up. Start to expect that pin pricking their balloon. I do believe I am a Cubs fan for that very reason. Eternal hope. It's like the kid in us. The silver lining, the gumball hidden inthe botton of your ice cream cone. Loving the Cubs makes us happy. Watching the Cubs makes us sad.Like the teenager with the invincible attitude, it kills you to watch them fall on their face but it doesn't mean you don't love them just the same. I have adopted the low bar on this one. Expect nothing, hope for the best and if they do well, good for them. How else can you be at this pont.

So, with all this lack of change, more of the same, I did need a little surprise in my life. Once again,m etsy to the rescue. I participated in this fun little venture and I have to say, it's a real "feel good". I was skeptical, I had my reservations, I was looking for the ole BNR lurking under the surface but nope. It was fun.I'm not sure the seller isn't in a panic filling orders, but hell, that's my kind of panic. The kind with money in the bank. The kind that makes you warm and fuzzy. The kind that brings you into a community full force. I think I might be a part of this again sometime soon. after all, a feel good surprise is way better than watching another depressing ballgame