It may be cold and dreary and gray outside today, after all, it's February in Chicago. However, there is a ray of light today that comes from within. A light, tempered with sadness, but a light that cannot be extinguished. You see, I had a friend. Today is his birthday. he would have turned 21 today. he would've been a man. Unfortunately, he was taken before he had the chance. Or was he?
You see, Brian was no ordinary friend. You couldn't get him down. You could never wash the smile from his face or the light in his eyes. He beamed so brightly, that everyone was caught in his spotlight at some point. Once he shone on you, his light was in you. It made you see things from a different perspective. You looked for the simple joy in the smallest of places. You felt the laughter from deep inside. You questioned,... nope, that was him. Sometimes the questions felt as if they'd never end, and yet, you didn't mind. How could you? They were always asked with such an infectious smile and jovial attitude, you didn't care how many times you answered them.
I received an email from Brian's family yesterday asking to think of him or share a story. Ididn't really need to be asked. I think of him often. I think of his family often too. I wonder how you deal with losing a child or a sibling. How you fill that void and find the strength it takes to keep moving. I think of Brian and how, some days, I could really use one of his smiles or a few of his questions.
A good snowfall makes me remember how he marveled in it's wonder and burst at the seems to rev up that snow blower. This would have been a long winter for him, waiting for snow that never came. Yet when it does snow, thinking of his delight makes me hate it's mess a little bit less. Soon we'll be hearing the constant rev of the lawnmower (his other favorite machine) and holding our breath for a Cubs win on a sunny day. Somehow that sunshine will be brighter with a little of his light smiling down on us.
There was not a right of passage into manhood for Brian here in our world, but that's okay with me. His simple love of the little things and his ability to share a joy that knew no bounds with everyone he met was monumental. It is a rare man who can touch so many in such a short time.
I miss you my friend, but I don't envy those you laugh with now because you will always laugh in me and I will always smile at your memory. I will NEVER forget you.
So, here I am.....
The girl that said she'd never blog. The far from computer savvy girl that is always up for a challenge despite a serious lack of time.My blog goals. Do I have blogging goals? Hmmm, I guess I should. So I pledge to be funny, lighthearted, not vent or complain to much and maybe just maybe share a crumb of wit and wisdom on occassion.I will most likely chat about etsy, my addiction and muse. the incredible artsists and friends I have found in a community that oozes with creativity, friendship, support and a home for all things handmade.You will hear me ramble about the insanity of my life including my 3 boys, ages 12, 16 and 53. Yes, that last one I am married to, but trust me, he is just as much boy as man. After 17 years of marriage I find myself raising him along with them. Then again, he would probably say the same of me at times. I will often speak of friends I would go to the ends of the earth for and a family that more often than not defines dysfunction. Then again, I strongly believe a functional family is the stuff legends are made of.I am a lover of music of all kinds and not so much the TV ( except maybe Glee). I have an addiction to handmade glass, especially venetian and lampwork beads as well as unique pottery. I have made a concerted effort to tame my jewelry fetish with my own creations which can be seen at http://www.kjbeads.etsy.com/If you haven't figured out by now, I can jabber my jaws and my fingers as if someone could care what I have to say.